CHEESUS

VIRGIN MARY PRETZEL


















PAGAN PRETZELS




















VIRGIN MARY GRILLED CHEESE

EVIL GRILLED CHEESE

REGULAR GRILLED CHEESE

JESUS & CHEESE















GENERAL HOLY SNACK

ENOUGH THE MOVIE!

Director:
Michael Apted

Release Date:
24 May 2002

Genre:
Drama / Thriller/ Asshole kicker

Tagline:
Enough Is Enough bitches

Plot Outline:
On the run from an abusive husband, a young mother begins to train herself to fight back.

Plot Keywords:
Stalking / Escape / Shivelry is Dead / Spouse / Psycho Thriller/ Men who don't understand the word No

Starring:
Jennifer Lopez & Mitch the Asshole

Clothes worn:
Yoga, Gap, Nike, & various wigs

ENOUGH

Working class waitress J. Lo finds her life transformed when she marries wealthy contractor Mitch the asshole. She settles into an idyllic suburban life and seems to have everything she wants: loving (cough cough) husband, beautiful plastic home, and Gracie, an adorable 5-year-old daughter, who looks nothing like either one of them.

Her dream is shattered when she discovers her husband, Mitch the asshole, is anything but perfect. His abusive behavior forces her to go on the run. This is due to the fact that Mitch, a younger sweaty brown colored hair version of John McCain, is a Republican control freak and handles all the finances.

J. Lo’s life becomes eluding an increasingly obsessive Mitch and his lethal henchmen, douche-bag the sexist. J. Lo tries to make a new life, but Mitch the asshole won’t let go. This forces her J. LO cut off her hair and wear a fake wig!! Nooooo!! Don’t do it J.LO! In the meantime, no one believes J.LO that Mitch the asshole is stalking her! Will the emotional torturous phone calls ever stop? Will J.LO’s hair grow back underneath the wig?

Despite J. Lo’s desperate efforts to make a new life by wearing pastels and Gap khaki’s, Mitch the asshole finds her and threatens her again. That’s it! J.Lo starts taking kickboxing lessons! Hell yeah! She toughens herself mentally and physically and sets out to prove to Mitch she's had ENOUGH bitches!!!













*not J. LO, but rather a white girl

Via pilates, yoga, deep breathing, kick boxing, and sweating for no apparent reason, J. LO takes control of her own destiny and alimony check leading to a SHOW DOWN in Mitch’s concrete bachelor pad!

J.LO clearly owns her power, which is exemplified by wearing black yoga pants & possibly a crotch protector!

No more pastels - damn you Mitch!

SUMMARY:
Mitch the asshole gets beaten to a pulp. I love this movie!!! 5 stars!! Go girl!!! In fact, we could just skip to the ending and that would be ENOUGH!!



A tool used to similuate Mitch the Asshole talking to J.LO and trying to control her!

Shirts J. LO may have worn in the movie.

Black is for evening & Mitch bashing,

white is 4 shopping w/ the girls & picking up Gracie.

AVOID THIS SALON LIKE THE PLAGUE!!!

http://www.salonblue.com/

2915 N Sheffield Ave
Chicago, IL 60657
Phone: (773) 525-2583
Fax: (773) 525-3985

"Hi, welcome to Salon Blue. Would you like to be BERT or ERNIE?"

This is what my eyebrows looked like before I went to SALON BLUE:






normal

*note to salon person: eyebrow has hair

Here's is what my eyebrows look like now:

not normal

eyebrows are gone

They waxed them all off!!!!! WTF!!

A blind person with duck tape could have done a better job. She gave me some sort of 1980's waxing, my eyebrows look like a comma with holes. Who wants to walk around all day with holey, balding eyebrows?

So I came up with a solution...

scroll down for the magic....

.

.

.

.

.

.

It's called "EYEBROW BURKA"!

Thanks for the special Spa treatment Salon Blue!

Laaaaaaaaadiesss.... where are uuuuuuuu???

Well, we're all asking ourselves:

"Why is the book "The MYSTERY METHOD: How to get a woman into bed" not included in Oprah's Book club?"


http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Method-Beautiful-Women-Into/dp/0312360118/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202701764&sr=8-1

The following reasons:

This is the author

• His name is "MYSTERY"
• 
  
• He wears a fuzzy helmet hat
• 
  
• He wears eye-liner & plastic PVC piping earrings
• 
  
• Chapter 2 is entitled "The Ultimate Purpose of Life"

I didn't see a Chapter on "STD's: How to avoid them", but perhaps that's the sequel.



I am writing a book, obviously inspired by MYSTERY's book!!



In this book, my friend "EMILY" & I will be stalking the mystery man to find out all his secrets:

• 
  where does he buy his hats?
  Has he been tested?
  Is he a Scientologist?
• 
  Stay tuned for more details!! Shhhh... it's all a big secret mystery!!!

GOSH I LOVE LITERATURE!!!