Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
It’s human catnip!
THE BACHELOR, Brad Womack, makes out with various chicks on screen, and this is called “dating” & looking for a wife. ABC pays & sets up the dates (thus alleviating dating pressure) & Brad’s not allowed to talk about himself or open up cause that would give away the show! Duh!
Brad often repeat special phrases to the ladies, like “your special", " No, YOUR special”, & “I found a feeling.”
Without further adieu, let’s introduce our BACHELOR!: (insert fake applause)
Brad Womack, that’s “WOAH, MACK!”, 34, is a successful, self made entrepreneur dude, which, in ladyspeak, means he doesn’t have a real job. Currently residing in Austin, Texas, Brad co owns four lucrative bars with his two brothers, which means there is a high chance he likes beer & will be out drinking it. PS That's called Research & Development. With the success of these establishments, they are now looking to expand into other ventures and are in the early stages of developing a hotel. By ‘hotel’, we mean Brad’s friends will be staying over and you, the lucky winner, will be cleaning up the mess.
Brad had an early plan to make his mark on the world, but that didn’t work out and, at 19, left Texas State University (known then as Southwest Texas State), why the name changed, we have no idea. After one year of college he left college to work out and work in oil fields across the country to save up money to pay off his credit card debt. His eight year odyssey, cross country shag fest, took him all over Texas and then to Louisiana, North Dakota and California. YEAH!
After working diligently in the oil fields and being abstinent from the MOONSHINE, he got into bartending with his twin brother, Chad. After some eight months tending bar & chatting up hotties, he had enough money saved to finance the purchase of his first drinking establishment with his brothers in 2001, when he was just 28. Sooooo…. That’s 10 years. Since then, their very successful business has exploded to where they've purchased a bar a year with large screen TV’s that Brad can watch foozball on for free, since he is obviously the owner. Also he worked in an oil field and is buff.
Brad knew the importance of a stable family and the ability to be a good provider, which is why he chose not to attend college. Not born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he is appreciative of what he has ok? Get it? He accomplished ON HIS OWN, unlike the rest of you ungrateful trust fund babies. These strong values, coupled with great looks due to working in an oil field and undeniable sex appeal, make him the perfect catch for someone living their fantasies out thru television. Brad please call me.
For all his hard body earned accomplishments and ability to do body shots, beer bongs, and drinking games, there is one thing missing from Brad's life, besides an education and deep conversations about feelings. He's ready to find his soul mate. She must be 5’11’, white, work out, under the age of 25, long hair, no pimples, easy going, doesn’t mind Brad “doing his own thing”. Brad is mostly ready to settle down and have the family life he has so long desired.
But Brad's heart, hidden beneath his worked out, tanned body, which he got working in an oil field, determination and commitment to beer have already given him a good start. Brad is sincere about his search (see above requirements, no ethnic people please), and optimistic that he will find the woman who could become his wife. No one over 25 or past acne problems need apply.
PERSONAL INFORMATION: wouldn’t you like to know, Nasty!
Monday 10/9 c
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Atlanta, GA (Fox 5 News/Atlanta)
Our boy, our pride & joy, KID ROCK was arrested in Atlanta early this morning after “allegedly” gettin’ into a brawl, after scarfing down some breakfast links, at the Waffle House in DeKalb County.
According to the report, Kid Rock stopped at the Waffle House at 5:15 AM on Sunday after performing that evening. A customer allegedly recognized a woman who was with Kid, they exchanged words, and that escalated into a fight in the parking lot. Sausage links were flying!!
Click here to read the raw egg deal:
Thizzz brings me to my next point:
What I like about WAFFLE HOUSE:
1. The word "quality" comes to mind.
2. You can get a regular, large, or TRIPLE hash browns. Triple the potato pleasure.
3. Bert’s Chili cost’s $2.35 and no one knows what’s in it or who Bert is. You can order the Chili two ways: Take it or leave it!
4. Pork Chop, Country Steak, Sirlion, Country Ham, or the crème de la crème: T-BONE if you got 10 bucks y’all!!
5. All the food has a brown tinge too it.
6. Menu has pictures. point & grunt.
7. You too can get an “ALL-STAR SPECIAL” like KID Pork. Perfect for the after-concert celebrations & sausage hurlin!!
8. The high standards in the bathroom (see below).
9. Eco-design: The same grease in the food can be used to wax the floor tile.
10. Customer service:
"I've been to other restaurants where the management didn't seem to not care if you mentioned a problem, not here. The employees jump right on in it and fix it up all real good from the hand dryer in the ladies room to making sure the tables are bused.You know, not all places know how to cook good grits or omelets, but you can get the best at the Waffle House."
- A very satisfied customer who likes brown tinged food, Julie H.
Don't DROOOOL!!!!! ...Luckily the menu is plastic! ECO-DESIGN!!!
Kid HASH BROWNS posted bond around 5pm and left DeKalb County jailing, signing autographs for fans as he made his way back to the tour bus.
Is it me, or does his Kid Pork's hair look like it was dipped in the egg lard on the way out of the Waffle House?
What's the LESSON here? Don't get between a man & his sausage!!
Friday, October 19, 2007
"Shaw, a churchgoing secretary of the local AARP branch, returned the next Monday _ with a hammer.
"I smashed a keyboard, knocked over a monitor ... and I went to hit the telephone," Shaw said. "I figured, 'Hey, my telephone is screwed up, so is yours.'"
That's what I love about America. AARP will take things into their own hands when the cable goes out.
"Nothing justifies this sort of dangerous behavior," Comcast spokeswoman Beth Bacha said.
I disagree. If you cut my cable, your going down with me and the trailer!!!!! AARP! AARP!!
KARACHI, Pakistan (CNN)
"Former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto was defiant Friday, calling the terror strike on her convoy -- which killed more than 130 people -- "an attack on democracy" and vowing it would not deter her political campaign or her fight for human rights."
U go girl!! I get pissy if I have to wait in a long line at Starbucks!! I'm so glad I live in America! YAY!
Fahreakville, USA (FoxNews)
A Seattle woman has made allegations against magician David Copperfield, law enforcement sources tell FOX News.
"Eeewww!!! I went to this guys show in Miami. I sat in the front row with my friend & he was *totally* GAWKING at us. It was kind of creepy, cause he thought he was sexy, but it was more like "cross your legs" cuz we could totally tell he was pervin & looking up our skirts from a certain angle from the stage. "
"He has that David Copperfield Bottoom Dweller look that makes you want to DOUBLE BOLT the door & night and check the locks on the windows. "
I bet the girl who accused him "DISAPPEARS". Magic or ah... some kind of trickery?
Why does CopperFreak have 2 million bucks sitting in a warehouse??? ESCAPE money ? What a COPPERPOT of crap. Lock this guy up for creeping us out.
Read this accurate and extremely unbiased news source: