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Friday, November 23, 2007

...after Thanksgiving

5 Things to do after Thanksgiving

1. Pack up some leftovers, and bring them to a lonely neighbor. Take a few minutes to talk. Make their day a little brighter. NOT. My neighbor is a total freak. He’s probably in his underware right now, hoping I’ll stop by. DOUBLE BOLT THE DOORS.

2. Bake Christmas cookies, with your kids, or just by yourself, if you do not have any children because you’re unfertile or in a relationship that’s not going anywhere. There is something about the scent of fresh baked cookies, that just screams Holiday season! Or does it scream “You fat f*ck, go on a diet!!!”

lame cookies that cost $25 to make with little " shitty me elmo" faces.

3. Play boardgames with your children. Come on, aren't they a better company, then screaming, pushing, shoving bargain hunters? NO, they're not. Neither are my friends’ kids. They are screaming, pushy, shovy, gift grabbers!

4. Sleep in, and cuddle with the one you love. Unless his/her big hairy leg is all over your side of the bed and reminds of you of that giant turkey leg your gnarfed the day before. In which case, kick his turkey carcass to the couch! Today is all about you and your needs.

5. Set your goals for the coming months. Get yourself ready for what you really want out of life. You'll have plenty of time to spend the money you plan on making in the future. Unless of course, you spent all the cash already, holiday shopping online for “bargains”, in which case reassess your poor financial planning and sh*tball goals that have thus far, pissed your life down the toilet.

Have a blessed holiday season!

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